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From the Pastor: How to Confess
This is the follow-up article about the mechanics of going to confession which I promised a couple of weeks ago. In the previous article, I was simply reminding people about being properly prepared and ready to enter the confessional as soon as the person in front of them exited, rather than waiting for Father to leave the confessional, who, seeing fifteen more people waiting (but not moving) then proceeds to give them engraved invitations to enter. But I didn’t go into the details of what you do once in. One would think that Catholics would know the basics of confession, but, as is made apparent in multiple ways nearly every week, this is one more place where we priests failed to educate properly for the past 55 or so years. Worse, ever since “confessionals” turned into “reconciliation rooms” people and priests have mistaken them for small bistros and simply sit down to shoot the breeze for a while, tell jokes and vacation stories, and, eventually, get around to confessing and, maybe, giving proper words of absolution. So now people coming to Epiphany oftentimes don’t know what to do as they enter the dark room of the confessional, something they have only seen in old movies. The first thing they want is a light. “I can’t find the lightswitch, Father,” they complain. Yes, it is dark on your side and light on mine, so that you can see me through the screen and I cannot see you. Anonymity is a good thing, is it not, as you pour out your soul and reveal your sins? But we put a light switch in there just for those who are afraid of the dark, anyway. It used to be on the door frame, but people would enter, turn on the light, and leave it on when they exited, forcing the next person to give up their anonymity even if they didn’t wish to do so. So I moved it to the spot directly under the screen. We still get people turning it on for no reason at all and leaving it on, but now I can see that it is on and call them back to turn it off! Outside, there is a light indicating when it is ok to enter and when the room is occupied. Each church does this in a different way, so people do get confused if they don’t stop and think it through. We have a white light over my door whenever I am in there. That tells you that you can come to confession through your own door, the other one with a light over it, as long as that light is not also lit. But if it is lit, it is occupied. That doesn’t stop people from entering when someone is already in there, though. My light doesn’t keep people from opening my door, either, even though it has my name written in large letters on it. It also doesn’t stop people from coming into the door without a light (it used to have one that I kept lit as long as I was hearing confessions but even with it lit people kept coming in so I removed the light socket. That didn’t stop people, either. That side opens into my side and is barely large enough for a wheelchair to fit and it gets used for that purpose every once in a while). So I will soon enough be trying out a red light/green light system to see if that helps. I doubt it, though, based on the way I see people driving nowadays! I probably need a yellow light so that they will come zooming in! Once you enter the confessional, please close the door and kneel in front of the screen. That, at least with the current lighting system, triggers the light outside. Don’t wait for me to offer you a drink or make other small talk. Immediately make the sign of the cross (this is a prayer, after all, and we begin and end our prayers with the sign of the cross) and say, “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been “this long” since my last confession.” (Don’t say, “this long” but rather say the time period it has been. People really do say “this long,” in case you are wondering, since they read those words in pamphlets on confession and parrot it unthinkingly!) Then, again without waiting for me to ask how your day is going, confess your sins. Two things many, many people have never been taught but are essential to making a good confession, are: 1) that the examination of conscience should have been made before entering the confessional, not once you are in there, and 2) it should include (and, therefore, your confession should include) recalling how many time you have committed any mortal sins of which you are repenting. Yes, mortal sins MUST be confessed both in kind (what the sin actually was) and in number (how many times you committed it). If you don’t know the exact number, a good ballpark estimate is sufficient. Purposely withholding even one mortal sin makes it a sacrilegious confession and none of your sins are absolved, for even if you fool the priest you cannot fool God. All sins are to be confessed briefly, with no extra details than are necessary. Lurid details, especially regarding sins of the flesh, are not necessary and can even be harmful. Do not, do not, do not, name other people involved in your sin! They, not you, are responsible for confessing their own sins. Also, do not tell stories in the confessional. Unfortunately, I have run out of space and haven’t yet finished this article. I hope to come back to it another week. With prayers for your holiness, Rev. Fr. Edwin Palka From the Pastor: We Have The Best Coffee and Donuts!
You all know that the title above is true. We have the best coffee and donuts you have ever had at church! Just as I believe that God deserves to have the best that we can offer at any given time (note that that varies from person to person, time to time, parish to parish, etc.), I also believe that we should treat ourselves pretty well while gathered at church, too. Years ago, when we had very few people, almost no money, and I was picking up donuts either Saturday night or between the Sunday Masses, we sometimes had WalMart donuts and sometimes had Dunkin'. Coffee was either Folgers or Costco. People even personally baked breakfast casseroles and other goodies to bring in, enough to cover everyone attending Mass (at their own expense, I might add, although they never mentioned it). We did the best we could do and we not only survived but thrived. But as we grew, it became impossible to bake for everyone and to keep up the load with the same people doing all the work every week. When things got rough, more people stepped up and volunteered to help. “Here’s the best donuts shop,” and “Have you tried this coffee?” became common helpful hints. Soon enough we found some great suppliers and people started commenting on how delicious the donuts were and how much they appreciated the great coffee. What? They told me something good about even the coffee? Yes, indeed! We have also branched out a bit and now have (gluten-free) yogurt, bagels and cream cheese after the High Mass, and, every once in a while, leftovers from some event held Saturday night. Yes, we have turned the social hall into a high-class eatery. The 10:30 Mass has a rotating group of volunteers who put in all of the manpower (and womanpower and even childpower) and I have told each group that if the donations exceed the cost of the food and drinks, they may keep it for their groups’ use, so they see it as a fundraising event as well as a service to the parish. It really should be no trouble to make money on these days, since we still have many people who donate various foods/drinks out of love of God and neighbor (and maybe to avoid the Bishop’s tax!) so the donations should certainly outdo the expenses. But, as it turns out, it is usually only if I mention it during the Mass announcements that we turn a “profit” for the groups. The donation jar seems to turn virtually invisible in subsequent weeks. “Perhaps,” I was thinking to myself, “the people are giving generously but don’t realize how many times their children return for a fourth glass of chocolate milk and yet another donut, without having taken a single sip or bite but rather have left the others out on a picnic table or bench and couldn’t remember where they left them.” That might be the case, as there are always nearly untouched leftovers sitting around once the place empties, mingled with the rest of the half-consumed food and drink that nobody bothers to pick up. (People rarely claim the pairs of shoes, pants, sweaters, books, phones, missals, mantillas, backpacks, and other non-edible things they leave behind, either, so it is not a surprise that they leave food behind without bothering to pick up after themselves!) “But it is also quite possible,” I reply to myself in argument, “that the people really don’t know what a donut costs, for they never have donuts anywhere but church. And they don’t pay attention to the cost of milk, juice, and other items, either, since it is all rolled up into a seemingly endless grocery bill instead of being itemized by the portion.” That, to me, also makes a lot of sense. After all, when I gripe, “Two-hundred and thirty-seven dollars for one person!” when I hit the Costco checkout line, I don’t break down what the cost of one individual hamburger is going to be once I get home to make dinner. It also may be that families don’t have enough money to spend on coffee and donuts (it is a rather frivolous expenditure, after all, rather than a necessity) but don’t want to deprive themselves and their family of the great friendships that come out of spending time with the group after Mass. That is one that I hope never discourages anyone from eating, drinking, and enjoying themselves after Mass. As I have said many times before, if you cannot afford it, please don’t hesitate to stay and eat and drink anyway. Even if you are experiencing rough financial times I think Sunday coffee and donuts (and all that goes along with it) is important enough that I have always offered to pay for anyone who cannot do so themselves, rather than see them turned away as if this were a money-making gig. Seriously. Where else can you surround yourself with so many people who really believe in God and His teachings and who want to share their lives with you both here and in Heaven? “Pray” and “play” go hand in hand. Regardless of why donations don’t always cover the expenditures, I thought it would help if you saw actual figures of what these items truly cost. I had the staff put together a list which will go up in the social hall for your reference. It does not include the price of plates, napkins, cups, electricity, or anything of that sort, just the cost of the food and drinks. It is not meant to be the “price” as if this were a diner, just a reference sheet. I hope you find it helpful. With prayers for your holiness, Rev. Fr. Edwin Palka From the Pastor: Sharing Some Frustrations
Today I am going to share with you some of my frustrations about confessions. More precisely, parishioners’ lack of courtesy to the priests hearing confessions, shown by not being in line, not being ready to enter the confessional when the person in front of you exits, and expecting confessions at all times and all places at your convenience rather than following our parish’s rather generous confession schedule. I will leave my frustrations about people’s lack of knowledge about how to confess for another day. Please note that I understand when people are just visiting our parish they don’t know the “rules” but I have very little way of knowing who is a visitor and who is a regular from inside the confessional. We have confessions here every day. On Sundays, I hear confessions following Mass. On other days, I hear confessions as soon as I have exposed Our Lord for a period of Adoration following the Mass. Most days I am able to stay as long as there are people coming in to confess. On Saturdays when I have a 10:30 class, I have to leave the confessional even if there are still people waiting, yet I still have people who want to talk—not confess—for 20 minutes even if there are 30 people in line behind them and only 30 minutes before class begins. I have already pushed the start time of the class back from 10:00 to 10:30 to try to avoid turning penitents away, but that is the latest I can begin class. Sometimes we have a morning funeral or, even more rarely, a diocesan meeting, and I have to shorten or even cancel Adoration, confessions, and/or the class or other appointments I had on my schedule. People generally understand when that happens. After Mass on First Fridays and First Saturdays and some Sundays, Fr. Mangiafico also joins me, although it means long, early morning travel for him and, especially on Sundays, he is often tied up in meetings, God bless him. Note well, I have written several times already in this article that we hear confessions after Mass. As in not before Mass. Not during Mass. In the confessional. Not in the sacristy. Not in the rectory. Not in the social hall. Why all of these restrictions? Because priests, believe it or not, have things that they must attend to before, during, and after Mass. On Sundays especially people often seem to have no clue as to that fact. If I am hearing confessions after the 7:30 Mass and people coming in for the 10:30 Mass get in line, I will never be able to get out of the confessional. If I have the 10:30 Mass to prepare for but can’t take a bathroom break, can’t get a drink of water, can’t check to make sure the Missal is set properly, can’t see if I have any altar boys, or if everything has been set up for Mass, can’t get the music notation for my Mass parts, can’t pray the vesting prayers, can’t do all of the myriad of other little things nobody else realizes I must do before Mass begins, Mass will be a mess. So I ask that you wait until after Mass to go to confession. It is not too much to ask. “But Father!” people complain regularly, “I won’t be able to receive Holy Communion if I wait until after Mass to confess!” Should I be so blunt as to tell you to let that be a lesson the next time you are tempted to commit mortal sin on a Saturday night? Should I remind you that no other parish you ever attended had Sunday confessions and you still survived? Or should I make an exception for you and the next twenty people who all have similar “extenuating circumstances” that kept them from confessing at any parish at any posted time earlier in the week because it was inconvenient? But even when people follow those requests we still have problems. Many times we get out of the confessional multiple times because nobody has come in for the past 3 or 4 minutes, only to see 15 people still waiting but not paying any attention to the empty confessional! I ask that the next one or two people (depending on if there are one or two priests hearing confessions) get out of the pew, genuflect to Our Lord, and turn to face the confessionals so that they can immediately enter upon the person in front of them leaving. There are signs giving these instructions in the pew, behind the pew, and, occasionally, other places, all to little avail. We also get done with confessions and have people racing through the church or social hall yelling, “Just a minute, Father, I want to go to confession!” The reasons they weren’t in line usually have something to do with donuts or chitchat. Get in line and pay attention! It’s not that hard. For Divine Mercy Sunday we heard hours of confessions in the morning and early afternoon. During the midafternoon Vespers and Divine Mercy chaplet, we had two priests hearing confessions once again. Fr. Mangiafico left when there were no more penitents coming in and nobody was left in line. I also tried leaving but, lo and behold, someone raced from her pew to catch me and, once back in the confessional, I stayed busy for another half-hour or more because of all the people who also had been in the church the whole time but never bothered to get in line. If you’ve read this far, you are probably not part of the problem because you read, pay attention, and are concerned about my frustrations. Thank you! With prayers for your holiness, Rev. Fr. Edwin Palka From the Pastor: A Glorious Easter!
This year it seemed that no sooner had the Octave of Epiphany ended than the 40 days of Lent began. The season of fasting had no more started than Archbishop Cordileone stopped by. No sooner had he departed than the Easter Triduum was upon us. And that, of course, meant early morning prayers and late night Masses leading into Easter Sunday itself. All without a breather, or so it seemed. What an exhausting but spiritually amazing way to begin the new calendar year! This year at the Easter Vigil and Mass we had 7 people come into the Church through Baptism and/or Confirmation and Holy Communion. Another wanted to enter but could not make it so we have rescheduled his entrance and he will be baptized next month. I am also scheduled, if the Bishop allows it, to confirm a few adults who are already Catholic but have missed receiving Confirmation for one or another reason. If you fit that category, call the office right away and maybe you can also receive the sacrament at that time. We bring people into the Church throughout the year, for, instead of forcing them to wait until fall to begin RCIA classes so that they can enter during the Easter Vigil, they simply each get on their own schedule of individual convert studies and when they are ready to enter, they enter. This year none of those entering were even aware of the others’ studies or readiness but somehow they all decided that they were ready to become Catholic all together. Nice! I haven’t yet seen the diocesan statistics on parish Mass attendance for February. As you know, I hang up the new stat sheet in the social hall twice a year (each parish reports Sunday Mass attendance figures in October and February) and Epiphany has been steadily rising. We started out in July of 2015 with 87 total in attendance before the Traditional Latin Mass began being celebrated here and now regularly exceed 800 or 900 people each Sunday. I am not sure why we sometimes have a greater than 10% change in numbers for any given Sunday but we will often see 950 people one Sunday followed by 830 people the next. Once in a while some of it can be attributed to the American Heritage Girls or the Troops of St. George going on camping trips, but they have never had 100 people on their participation rosters. And, in case you are wondering, we do not count them in our official tally if they are gone during February or October, even if I go to the camp to celebrate Mass for them that weekend. We only count those physically present in the pews. All of that is just a lead-up to the new record attendance for Easter Sunday Masses. We broke the 1200 people mark for our three Easter Masses (one Vigil and two on Easter Sunday) for the first time. The Easter Vigil this year was 4 hours+ long. The Traditional Rite of Baptism includes a lot of questioning of each sacramental candidate, a lot of blessings and exorcisms, plus other amazing signs and symbols in the ritual. A good portion of it can be done earlier in the day in order to shorten the length of the Vigil, but since we already have Tenebrae, confessions, and the Blessing of the Easter Baskets on Holy Saturday morning, it would have been more work than possible to arrange such a thing. It also would have deprived all of the parishioners the joy of experiencing all of that wonderful ceremonial baptismal preparation and Profession of Faith. Cutting corners and making things shorter or easier does not necessarily (or even usually) lead to a fuller grasp of—or desire for more of—the Faith! Of course, it makes for a late night when the Mass ends after midnight and the people don’t just race for their cars to go home. There were 50 or more people still in the church and social hall when I finally went back to the rectory about 1:30 am. Several groups had brought picnic baskets with them and were breaking their Lenten Fasts with friends, new and old, something that has been a wonderful tradition in a parish where they can’t simply walk to one of the neighboring parishioner houses down the block. But as for me, I simply told them that the last one to leave had to lock the doors and turn off the lights, for I still had to finish my breviary and try to sleep for a few hours before getting up to prepare for the morning Mass. I am now 60 years old and the early mornings followed by the late nights are getting to me more than they ever did when I was a “young” priest of 40 or 50. Fr. Mangiafico has twenty years on me and I am amazed at his stamina. He doesn’t live at the rectory and doesn’t ever accept the offer to spend the night even for big feasts like this but rather drives nearly an hour across the bay to his house, where he then has to finish his prayers as well, and then, after very little sleep, prays his morning prayers and makes the return trip to celebrate the 10:30 Mass. What a priest! Thank you all for making the beginning of this year such a holy one! I am hopeful that we will be able to continue to celebrate these spiritual seasons and feast days in the traditional manner that we have been doing for the past nine years. None of this is possible without you, the Faithful, eagerly embracing it and growing in holiness through it. With prayers for your holiness, Rev. Fr. Edwin Palka |
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