Sharing Some Frustrations

From the Pastor:    Sharing Some Frustrations

     Today I am going to share with you some of my frustrations about confessions. More precisely, parishioners’ lack of courtesy to the priests hearing confessions, shown by not being in line, not being ready to enter the confessional when the person in front of you exits, and expecting confessions at all times and all places at your convenience rather than following our parish’s rather generous confession schedule. I will leave my frustrations about people’s lack of knowledge about how to confess for another day. Please note that I understand when people are just visiting our parish they don’t know the “rules” but I have very little way of knowing who is a visitor and who is a regular from inside the confessional.
     We have confessions here every day. On Sundays, I hear confessions following Mass. On other days, I hear confessions as soon as I have exposed Our Lord for a period of Adoration following the Mass. Most days I am able to stay as long as there are people coming in to confess. On Saturdays when I have a 10:30 class, I have to leave the confessional even if there are still people waiting, yet I still have people who want to talk—not confess—for 20 minutes even if there are 30 people in line behind them and only 30 minutes before class begins. I have already pushed the start time of the class back from 10:00 to 10:30 to try to avoid turning penitents away, but that is the latest I can begin class. Sometimes we have a morning funeral or, even more rarely, a diocesan meeting, and I have to shorten or even cancel Adoration, confessions, and/or the class or other appointments I had on my schedule. People generally understand when that happens. After Mass on First Fridays and First Saturdays and some Sundays, Fr. Mangiafico also joins me, although it means long, early morning travel for him and, especially on Sundays, he is often tied up in meetings, God bless him. Note well, I have written several times already in this article that we hear confessions after Mass. As in not before Mass. Not during Mass. In the confessional. Not in the sacristy. Not in the rectory. Not in the social hall. Why all of these restrictions? Because priests, believe it or not, have things that they must attend to before, during, and after Mass. On Sundays especially people often seem to have no clue as to that fact. If I am hearing confessions after the 7:30 Mass and people coming in for the 10:30 Mass get in line, I will never be able to get out of the confessional. If I have the 10:30 Mass to prepare for but can’t take a bathroom break, can’t get a drink of water, can’t check to make sure the Missal is set properly, can’t see if I have any altar boys, or if everything has been set up for Mass, can’t get the music notation for my Mass parts, can’t pray the vesting prayers, can’t do all of the myriad of other little things nobody else realizes I must do before Mass begins, Mass will be a mess. So I ask that you wait until after Mass to go to confession. It is not too much to ask. “But Father!” people complain regularly, “I won’t be able to receive Holy Communion if I wait until after Mass to confess!” Should I be so blunt as to tell you to let that be a lesson the next time you are tempted to commit mortal sin on a Saturday night? Should I remind you that no other parish you ever attended had Sunday confessions and you still survived? Or should I make an exception for you and the next twenty people who all have similar “extenuating circumstances” that kept them from confessing at any parish at any posted time earlier in the week because it was inconvenient? 
     But even when people follow those requests we still have problems. Many times we get out of the confessional multiple times because nobody has come in for the past 3 or 4 minutes, only to see 15 people still waiting but not paying any attention to the empty confessional! I ask that the next one or two people (depending on if there are one or two priests hearing confessions) get out of the pew, genuflect to Our Lord, and turn to face the confessionals so that they can immediately enter upon the person in front of them leaving. There are signs giving these instructions in the pew, behind the pew, and, occasionally, other places, all to little avail. We also get done with confessions and have people racing through the church or social hall yelling, “Just a minute, Father, I want to go to confession!” The reasons they weren’t in line usually have something to do with donuts or chitchat. Get in line and pay attention! It’s not that hard. For Divine Mercy Sunday we heard hours of confessions in the morning and early afternoon. During the midafternoon Vespers and Divine Mercy chaplet, we had two priests hearing confessions once again. Fr. Mangiafico left when there were no more penitents coming in and nobody was left in line. I also tried leaving but, lo and behold, someone raced from her pew to catch me and, once back in the confessional, I stayed busy for another half-hour or more because of all the people who also had been in the church the whole time but never bothered to get in line.
     If you’ve read this far, you are probably not part of the problem because you read, pay attention, and are concerned about my frustrations. Thank you!

With prayers for your holiness,
Rev. Fr. Edwin Palka

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