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From the Pastor: No More APA!
Yes, you read the title correctly. The Annual Pastoral Appeal is no more! We still owe this year’s APA amount but the way the diocese is now going to be financed (remember, the diocesan expenses need to be paid from the collection baskets of all the parishes, since they cannot pass the basket around the workplace to pay the bills!) is being completely revamped. Below is from a memo I received recently explaining part of the change. More will be coming explaining all of this in the near future. Memorandum Enclosed please find the 2022 Catholic Ministry Appeal Goal Worksheet for Epiphany of Our Lord Parish, Tampa, detailing each GL account/subaccount, and the reported amounts for Epiphany of Our Lord Parish, Tampa, for the 2020-2021 fiscal year used to calculate the goal. As communicated at the launch in August and the training workshop in September, for the first year, these goals have been set using the new, simplified formula for reporting revenue for looking at parish assessable revenue: Offertory Plus Donations Less School Support up to $100,000 =Assessable Revenue Times 14.0% = Catholic Ministry Appeal Parish Goal Please remember — this is a goal. It is intended to be challenging, yet attainable based on past participation in the APA. Every parish is expected to put forth a “best effort” toward the new Catholic Ministry Appeal. If a parish puts forth a “best effort” implementing the recommended timeline, communications and activities but does not achieve its goal for the appeal, it will not be responsible for paying the shortfall. Our job is to provide you with the tools you need to be successful. Please visit the Parish Resource Page at www.dosp.org/fakecatholicministry/fakewebpage to download and view all we have created to date, and what is in process. If you find there are additional materials you need that will help you implement a strong appeal, please do not hesitate to contact me by phone at 555-555-5555, ext. 5555 or by email at 007@dosp.org. (Webpage, phone number and email changed to protect the privacy of the person who wrote the memo!) Thank you for your partnership in spreading the Gospel and building up the Kingdom of God! That was the first page of the memo. The second page was a simple graph showing how much money the parish takes in (through the collection basket and other donations) minus our current $7510 exemption for Catholic School Support. Since we just included all of that information in the bulletin two weeks ago, I won’t reprint it here. They took the total of those calculations and multiplied it by 14% and came out with our “New and Improved!” Parish Catholic Ministry Appeal Goal of (gulp) $94,368. Our current (2021) APA is “only” $66,878 of which $46,189 has been paid so far. I expect that we may get a last-minute burst of donations and actually reach our goal again this year, much as we did last year, when we came right down to the wire before the money was paid. This new way of calculating our “goal” has led to a pretty hefty increase but there is a huge difference between the goal of APA and the goal of the new Catholic Ministry Appeal. The APA goal was mandatory. If we didn’t have donations to cover it, the shortfall came out of the parish savings. The Bishop got his money one way or another. The new CMA is “best effort” rather than mandatory. This means that as long as I preach about it, encourage you to willingly give to it, explain where the money you give is going, etc., if we fail to meet the goal, the bishop simply gets what we have given rather than taking the remainder from our savings. I will be giving more information on this new system/process in a few weeks. The priests have at least one more zoom meeting with the bishop coming up soon to help us understand how this simplified process works. I can tell you right now that the bishop is going out on a limb with this, taking a leap of faith in making the contributions voluntary. If the people don’t give, he has to cut out programs, personnel, or other overhead costs. I’ll explain more later. With prayers for your holiness, Rev. Fr. Edwin Palka From the Pastor: Are You Registered?
As part of what our building committee is doing to prepare a proposal for our new church, we have had to check on the number of registered parishioners. After all, we are trying to show the bishop that we need a larger, not just a more beautiful, church and that we need a larger, not just a newer, social hall. It is true that we do count the numbers of people in the pew every week so we have those statistics showing our growth, but when it comes to parish registration, which is generally a sign that the person or family plans to remain with the parish, not just visit it when convenient, we are not showing quite so much growth. The diocese showed that in 2015 we had 261 families registered at Epiphany. That is a very strange number, considering that they also showed the Mass count at 87 people in attendance for the Saturday Vigil and Sunday Masses combined! But as of 2021 the diocese only lists us as having 449 registered parishioners even though last weekend we once again broke the 800 person mark for Mass attendance. I have to scratch my head at these numbers and wonder if they really have any meaning since they show that in 2015, even if each registered family consisted of only a single person, 174 families didn’t show up each Sunday. The newest numbers seem to show that, assuming most who are registered actually do show up each Sunday, our families average less than two people, a statistic I find hard to fathom. As meaningless as these stats seem to be, they also show, on paper anyway, that we have only doubled the number of registered families in the past five years while at the same time adding about 700 more people to the congregation each Sunday. So why am I writing about this when I am pointing out that the numbers don’t add up? Because I wish they did! I know that there are people who, for very good reasons, remain registered at a former parish. I have spoken with a number of you over the years and agree that there are times when that should be the case. But I imagine that there are many times more people who just never got around to registering as a family or as an individual, not knowing any particular reason why they should. Many probably think that since they contribute, they are automatically registered, which is not the case. Others have just never thought about it at all. And, while I normally don’t really care about how many people are “on paper” as opposed to in the pew, for the sake of our proposal going to the bishop it certainly will not hurt to have as many people registered as actually consider themselves members of Epiphany! Will it be a statistic that makes or breaks the proposal for a new church? I doubt it very much. But we need to show the reality to the bishop that we truly are a growing parish, that people are not just popping in to see a “show” and will go back to their old parish when the newness wears off. So this weekend you will find parish registration papers just about everywhere: in the back of the church, in the social hall, and in the restrooms (ok, maybe not there). Please fill one out if you have not registered. If you are unsure if you are registered, just fill it out and put a note on top to that effect. If you have changed addresses, email, phone numbers, marital status, or number of children since you registered, this is a great time to update that information. Simply fill out the form and leave it this week, bring in the completed form to the office during the week, or place it in the basket next Sunday. Other things that the building committee members are spearheading include the following: — The land survey is still being done. Stakes and pink ribbons mark various things all over the place. The survey is not only going to show exact property lines but also the number and type of trees, the land elevation differences, and maybe other stuff of which I am not aware but which will be needed before we can obtain permission and permits to build. — A “wealth survey” is underway, studying how much money it is realistic to expect that we can raise from our congregation and from other outside donors. How they get all the information is as much a mystery to me as the already-mentioned parish registration statistics. But it is scary how much public information is available that they are able to mine for this purpose. — Preliminary diagrams of the new church have been printed, revised, revised again, re-re-re-revised, and will continue to be revised as we dream about sizes, shapes, heights, and placement of various necessities of the building (and a few desirable extras as well). — Marketing ideas and other such things are also on the agenda as we look to “sell” the project to the general public and possible outside donors. — Other various and sundry details are being hashed out, looked into, brainstormed, and generally tossed around as we try to make certain that all of this is being done for the glory of God, the conversion of sinners, and the salvation of souls. I ask your continued prayers for our parish and for our building committee members as well as for our bishop, who needs to see the value in what we are doing and why we are doing it. With prayers for your holiness, Rev. Fr. Edwin Palka From the Pastor: Abbot and Costello!
It’s time for a little levity. This was sent to me a while back, unattributed, unfortunately. AwakenWithJP just released a similar but even better skit on video, using life jackets. Funny guy. I’ll post it on the webpage. (For those reading this on the webpage, click this sentence for the video!) ABBOTT AND COSTELLO’S ‘WHO’S BEEN VACCINATED? Bud: ‘You can’t come in here!’ Lou: ‘Why not?’ Bud: ‘Well because you’re unvaccinated.’ Lou: ‘But I’m not sick.’ Bud: ‘It doesn’t matter.’ Lou: ‘Well, why does that guy get to go in?’ Bud: ‘Because he’s vaccinated.’ Lou: ‘But he’s sick!’ Bud: ‘It’s alright. Everyone in here is vaccinated.’ Lou: ‘Wait a minute. Are you saying everyone in there is vaccinated?’ Bud: ‘Yes.’ Lou: ‘So then why can’t I go in there if everyone is vaccinated?’ Bud: ‘Because you’ll make them sick.’ Lou: ‘How will I make them sick if I’m NOT sick and they’re vaccinated.’ Bud: ‘Because you’re unvaccinated.’ Lou: ‘But they’re vaccinated.’ Bud: ‘But they can still get sick.’ Lou: ‘So what the heck does the vaccine do?’ Bud: ‘It vaccinates.’ Lou: ‘So vaccinated people can’t spread covid?’ Bud: ‘Oh no. They can spread covid just as easily as an unvaccinated person.’ Lou: ‘I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore. Look. I’m not sick. Bud: ‘Ok.’ Lou: ‘And the guy you let in IS sick.’ Bud: ‘That’s right.’ Lou: ‘And everybody in there can still get sick even though they’re vaccinated.’ Bud: ‘Certainly.’ Lou: ‘So why can’t I go in again?’ Bud: ‘Because you’re unvaccinated.’ Lou: ‘I’m not asking who’s vaccinated or not!’ Bud: ‘I’m just telling you how it is.’ Lou: ‘Nevermind. I’ll just put on my mask.’ Bud: ‘That’s fine.’ Lou: ‘Now I can go in?’ Bud: ‘Absolutely not?’ Lou: ‘But I have a mask!’ Bud: ‘Doesn’t matter.’ Lou: ‘I was able to come in here yesterday with a mask.’ Bud: ‘I know.’ Lou: So why can’t I come in here today with a mask? ….If you say ‘because I’m unvaccinated’ again, I’ll break your arm.’ Bud: ‘Take it easy buddy.’ Lou: ‘So the mask is no good anymore.’ Bud: ‘No, it’s still good.’ Lou: ‘But I can’t come in?’ Bud: ‘Correct.’ Lou: ‘Why not?’ Bud: ‘Because you’re unvaccinated.’ Lou: ‘But the mask prevents the germs from getting out.’ Bud: ‘Yes, but people can still catch your germs.’ Lou: ‘But they’re all vaccinated.’ Bud: ‘Yes, but they can still get sick.’ Lou: ‘But I’m not sick!!’ Bud: ‘You can still get them sick.’ Lou: ‘So then masks don’t work!’ Bud: ‘Masks work quite well.’ Lou: ‘So how in the heck can I get vaccinated people sick if I’m not sick and masks work?’ Bud: ‘Third base From the Pastor: Bits and Pieces
This week’s column is just a few bits and pieces of stuff. Nothing too important, just random thoughts and happenings. So if you are pressed for time, just skip the rest of this column. Really! Last week I was traveling down Highway 301 in a section where it is a four-lane divided highway. There were three cars in front of me and the front car kept hitting the brakes for no apparent reason. We were traveling about 35 mph in a 45 zone at the time. When there was a break in the left lane traffic which kept whizzing past, I pulled over to pass the aggravating constant-braker. Unfortunately, the car I pulled behind was driven by someone who felt the need to brake every time the car to the right put on the brakes. So now in the right lane was the slow-driving brake-loving car followed by the two other cars which had previously been in front of me now blocked in by the “I brake for brake lights” car I was now stuck behind in the left lane. I wasn’t in a hurry to get to my destination but what an aggravation. Fortunately, I had the rosary playing and it is very hard to even mentally say bad words about bad drivers while praying along with John Paul II in Latin. I read an article this week claiming that Archbishop Listecki of Milwaukee, WI, and chairman of the Committee on Canonical Affairs and Church Governance within the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, sent a memo to the bishops of the USCCB with this quotation in it. “Recently, the Committee on Canonical Affairs and Church Governance was made aware of instances where it had been discovered that a woman living under a transgendered identity had been unknowingly admitted to the seminary or to a house of formation of an institute of consecrated life.” Sadly, I could not help but think, “Unknowingly? Give me a break!” long before I thought about how terrible a situation that is for all involved. Color me cynical, but I don’t believe that the bishop(s) who took in the transgendered (read: mentally and spiritually ill and physically mutilated women) seminarians were fooled for a minute. He never mentioned which bishop(s) got snookered so I am not making a judgment on any particular bishop(s) but simply by my own observations, I can assert that past unfaithful bishops seemed to prefer that femininized men and even openly homosexual men rather than masculine (read: normal) men study to become priests. (Of course, that makes me wonder if I was a token masculine seminarian or if I am more feminine than I imagine!) Perhaps current unfaithful bishop(s) thought they found a way around the Church teaching that only males can validly receive Holy Orders and wished to “ordain” a few fake males to set a precedence for ordination among women who wouldn’t then have to hide the fact that they are female. But whether my speculation is correct or not, the Archbishop also wrote that “Some members of the Committee on Canonical Affairs and Church Governance observed that a bishop could consider requiring a D.N.A. test or, at a minimum, certification from a medical expert of the bishop’s own choosing, to assure that an applicant is male.” Yes, we may have to DNA test to see if the person we so closely scrutinized before allowing entrance into the seminary is really a male. Doesn’t that say something pretty damning about our (or at least somebody’s) entrance qualifications and procedures which we put men through before we accept them into the seminary? This coming week is our Annual Diocesan Priest Convocation. I love going to those things. The talks are sometimes very good, often pretty average, and sometimes really bad but getting together with other priests and spending time being able to talk with them over meals and leisure time instead of just saying “hello” before or after meetings is worthwhile. I purposefully missed one when the topic was too terrible to sit through and another one when the “spiritual director” was personally known to me to be anything but capable of leading us in spiritual matters. But usually, I go and enjoy myself. Instead of canceling daily Masses as most parishes do, I have often been able to get great priests to come and give a Parish Mission so that I can leave my people in good hands. It is much easier to get a good mission preacher in October than in Lent! But covid did away with that once again this year, as bishops refused to allow the priests I had asked to come to travel to give missions due to an amazing amount of fear of covid. Let me be blunt: priests and bishops who are afraid of illness and/or death—especially now that the dangers (and lack thereof) of covid are well-established to not be a second Spanish Flu—are of the same ilk as those who would recruit transgendered seminarians. As it turns out, our topic for this year’s convocation is something like “Why are the people not returning to church after being told by Church leaders that the Catholic Faith is non-essential.” I couldn’t sit through four days of that topic even if a mission preacher was available. There really isn’t any connection to any of the above stories. Unless, that is, the two bad drivers were actually two bishops driving alone with double face masks on, so afraid of death that they wouldn’t even approach the speed limit, hit the brakes constantly “just in case” there was danger, and were both on their way to recruit transgender seminarians to take to their respective convocations. Hmmm... With prayers for your holiness, Rev. Fr. Edwin Palka |
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