How to Confess

From the Pastor:    How to Confess

     This is the follow-up article about the mechanics of going to confession which I promised a couple of weeks ago. In the previous article, I was simply reminding people about being properly prepared and ready to enter the confessional as soon as the person in front of them exited, rather than waiting for Father to leave the confessional, who, seeing fifteen more people waiting (but not moving) then proceeds to give them engraved invitations to enter. But I didn’t go into the details of what you do once in. One would think that Catholics would know the basics of confession, but, as is made apparent in multiple ways nearly every week, this is one more place where we priests failed to educate properly for the past 55 or so years. Worse, ever since “confessionals” turned into “reconciliation rooms” people and priests have mistaken them for small bistros and simply sit down to shoot the breeze for a while, tell jokes and vacation stories, and, eventually, get around to confessing and, maybe, giving proper words of absolution. So now people coming to Epiphany oftentimes don’t know what to do as they enter the dark room of the confessional, something they have only seen in old movies. The first thing they want is a light. “I can’t find the lightswitch, Father,” they complain. Yes, it is dark on your side and light on mine, so that you can see me through the screen and I cannot see you. Anonymity is a good thing, is it not, as you pour out your soul and reveal your sins? But we put a light switch in there just for those who are afraid of the dark, anyway. It used to be on the door frame, but people would enter, turn on the light, and leave it on when they exited, forcing the next person to give up their anonymity even if they didn’t wish to do so. So I moved it to the spot directly under the screen. We still get people turning it on for no reason at all and leaving it on, but now I can see that it is on and call them back to turn it off!
     Outside, there is a light indicating when it is ok to enter and when the room is occupied. Each church does this in a different way, so people do get confused if they don’t stop and think it through. We have a white light over my door whenever I am in there. That tells you that you can come to confession through your own door, the other one with a light over it, as long as that light is not also lit. But if it is lit, it is occupied. That doesn’t stop people from entering when someone is already in there, though. My light doesn’t keep people from opening my door, either, even though it has my name written in large letters on it. It also doesn’t stop people from coming into the door without a light (it used to have one that I kept lit as long as I was hearing confessions but even with it lit people kept coming in so I removed the light socket. That didn’t stop people, either. That side opens into my side and is barely large enough for a wheelchair to fit and it gets used for that purpose every once in a while). So I will soon enough be trying out a red light/green light system to see if that helps. I doubt it, though, based on the way I see people driving nowadays! I probably need a yellow light so that they will come zooming in!
     Once you enter the confessional, please close the door and kneel in front of the screen. That, at least with the current lighting system, triggers the light outside. Don’t wait for me to offer you a drink or make other small talk. Immediately make the sign of the cross (this is a prayer, after all, and we begin and end our prayers with the sign of the cross) and say, “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been “this long” since my last confession.” (Don’t say, “this long” but rather say the time period it has been. People really do say “this long,” in case you are wondering, since they read those words in pamphlets on confession and parrot it unthinkingly!) Then, again without waiting for me to ask how your day is going, confess your sins. Two things many, many people have never been taught but are essential to making a good confession, are: 1) that the examination of conscience should have been made before entering the confessional, not once you are in there, and 2) it should include (and, therefore, your confession should include) recalling how many time you have committed any mortal sins of which you are repenting. Yes, mortal sins MUST be confessed both in kind (what the sin actually was) and in number (how many times you committed it). If you don’t know the exact number, a good ballpark estimate is sufficient. Purposely withholding even one mortal sin makes it a sacrilegious confession and none of your sins are absolved, for even if you fool the priest you cannot fool God.
     All sins are to be confessed briefly, with no extra details than are necessary. Lurid details, especially regarding sins of the flesh, are not necessary and can even be harmful. Do not, do not, do not, name other people involved in your sin! They, not you, are responsible for confessing their own sins. Also, do not tell stories in the confessional. 
     Unfortunately, I have run out of space and haven’t yet finished this article. I hope to come back to it another week.

With prayers for your holiness,
Rev. Fr. Edwin Palka

​