Epiphany of Our Lord Catholic Church
  • Home
  • Online Giving
  • Map: Find us!
  • Meet the Staff
  • Calendar
  • Sacrament Prep
  • Men's Club (Holy League)
  • Altar Boy page
  • American Heritage Girls
  • Troops of St. George
  • Help! I cannot find the right Mass in my missal! I don't know when to sit, stand or kneel!
  • Pastor's bulletin article
  • Council of Catholic Women
  • Knights of Columbus
  • Photos
  • Youth Group!
    • Anima Christi
    • Sancti Amici
  • Latin Mass Schedule
  • Talks you don't want to miss!
  • Adult Catechism Class audio
  • Understand the Bible!
  • Extra Stuff
  • Things that need doing
  • Music
  • Bulletins
  • Covid information
  • CEW
  • Parish Business Directory

He only shuts up when he is writing!

Thanksgiving with my Family

11/29/2015

 
From the Pastor:    Thanksgiving with my Family

   [Instead of writing a new column this week, I am recycling one of my favorites from several years ago, with minimal editing. I think this will be a good introduction to my family holiday gathering stories for all the new parishioners. Be forewarned, though: careful reading is essential.]
   Today I want to share with you stories of how I spent my Thanksgiving. Because the bulletin had to get to the publisher early due to the holiday, I had to write this column before it actually happened.
   It didn’t start out too well for me. I drove to my brother’s house in Clermont to spend the day with my family but the door was locked when I got there. Nobody was home and there were no cars in the driveway or on the road in front of the house. It quickly dawned on me that I was in the wrong place but I couldn’t figure out where I was supposed to be. Was everyone at my moms, my dads, or my little sisters? I reached for my cell phone to find out where everyone was and remembered that the phone was back on my dining room table. Have you tried to find a pay phone recently? Finding one wouldn’t have done me any good anyway, since all my phone numbers are on my phone. Mom’s number? Simply press “speed dial 1.” That won’t work on a public phone, though.
   So I drove home, got my phone and found out that everyone was at my sister’s house waiting patiently for me to get back from what they expected was an emergency call to the hospital to anoint someone. Who was I to correct them? By now the ice cream I was bringing to accompany mom’s homemade pies was oozing, so I jumped back into my Lamborghini and high tailed it toward south Tampa, only to find out that the newest unmarked police cruiser was the lime green Smart for Two I flew past at a few dozen miles over the speed limit. Do you know how humiliating it is to get pulled over by a “toy” car that never could have caught me if I hadn’t let it and that looks like a dozen little clowns should be getting out of it?
   By the time I got to the house, fortunately, I didn’t have to explain any of this, since Aunt Irma had gotten into the catnip (or something like that) and was causing a ruckus as she somehow got her bloomers stuck on a tree branch. Why she had climbed out the window of the kids’ tree house was not immediately clear until we found the half-roasted turkey on the roof. She had taken it from the oven and was trying to set it free before we could eat it. Somebody had sent her an email stating that Vatican II had mandated that all Catholics must become vegetarian and since it was in writing she knew it must be true. The fire rescue guys had a difficult time getting her down because she kept flapping her arms and screaming, “fly away little birdie, fly away!” At one point she thought the turkey was finally making its escape but it had simply jostled loose and was on its way to the ground. It barely missed landing on several of the kids as it took flight courtesy of gravity. Only after we assured her that it got away did we finally get her down.
   While all of this was happening in the back yard, nobody was paying attention to what was going on inside the house. My mom recently got a new dog and had brought it with her. It was playing with my sister’s two dogs (at least that's what the cat said) and they managed to knock over the folding card table on which all the good china and homemade pies had been stacked. Well, at least there is one more kitchen cabinet available for storage now and without an apple pie to put it on, my melted ice cream wasn’t even missed. The rest of the day went fairly smoothly and we gave thanks for Chinese takeout (which paired up surprisingly well with mashed potatoes and green bean casserole) and crazy family members.
   Anyway, this is how it might have happened.

With prayers for your holiness,
Fr. Edwin Palka

Comments are closed.

    Author:
    ​Fr. Palka

    Archives

    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Extra Ecclesiam nulla salus
  • Home
  • Online Giving
  • Map: Find us!
  • Meet the Staff
  • Calendar
  • Sacrament Prep
  • Men's Club (Holy League)
  • Altar Boy page
  • American Heritage Girls
  • Troops of St. George
  • Help! I cannot find the right Mass in my missal! I don't know when to sit, stand or kneel!
  • Pastor's bulletin article
  • Council of Catholic Women
  • Knights of Columbus
  • Photos
  • Youth Group!
    • Anima Christi
    • Sancti Amici
  • Latin Mass Schedule
  • Talks you don't want to miss!
  • Adult Catechism Class audio
  • Understand the Bible!
  • Extra Stuff
  • Things that need doing
  • Music
  • Bulletins
  • Covid information
  • CEW
  • Parish Business Directory