St. Patrick’s Day Approaches!

From the Pastor:    St. Patrick’s Day Approaches!

       Next Sunday, March 17, although technically “Passion Sunday” this year, is sure to be overshadowed by that great “Irish” Saint, Patrick. And, because most of us are about as Irish as St. Patrick, we will celebrate it to the max here by having a special guest celebrant, one whose family has deep Irish roots, at the 10:30 am Mass. Yes, Archbishop Salvatore Joseph Cordileone, whose first, middle, and last names are all dead giveaways to his Celtic ancestry, is coming from that most Irish of all Archdioceses in the States, San Francisco, which everyone knows is Gaelic for “another once-holy city destroyed by leftists.”  I have heard from respectable sources that he will be wearing his fancy green cassock, which color, believe it or not, was the proper color for all bishops until the 16th century, at which time the anti-Irish backlash from the neighboring country of Amaranthia, which abuts the western border of Ireland, forced the bishops to renounce their honorary, if not actual, Irish ancestry and change their garb from “Irish green” to “Amaranth red.” To not be accused of being “too traditional,” the good Archbishop’s green cassock will have amaranth red buttons and piping, which also serves to poke a good-natured finger in the eyes of all of the leftist Amaranthians, as it naturally brings to mind the colors of another holy day they truly despise, Christmas, which, if lest ye forget, is another very Irish liturgical holy day, for Saint Nicholas is as Irish as green beer.
       Unfortunately, since it is still Lent, the Archbishop insisted on leading Compline (Night Prayer) and giving a talk on Saturday evening rather than the big shamrock-themed bash I had been planning. I had to cancel the Irish dancers and send back (some of) the cases of Jameson I had ordered. I knew I should have checked the calendar ahead of time! Oh, well, I guess I can blame it on old age now. Before I forget even more things, I had better write that his prayer and talk will begin Saturday night, March 16, at 7:00 in the church. After that, there will be some light refreshments (kale chips, seaweed crackers, and “I can’t believe it’s not real meat-balls” are all probably on the Lenten snack menu) and a little time for informal chats with this holy man.
       As a reminder for those who have been here for the past couple of Pontifical Solemn High Masses and as new information for those who were not preset, there are a few “odd” things that must necessarily happen on that Sunday. First of all, remember that there will be no confessions that day. The priests will all be busy with getting ready for the Mass and the functions after the Mass. Secondly, after the 7:30 am Mass we will have to ask everyone to please leave the church after just the briefest of prayers of thanksgiving when Mass is concluded. We have to get everything set up for the Mass and we can’t have the people in our way while we work. It also keeps the first Mass from being packed with 800 people who have no intention of really praying that Mass but are simply camping out to get their choice seat at the next one. So bring an umbrella, for you may need one while standing outside whether you are protecting yourself from the driving rain or the beating sun. Third, the coffee and donuts will be served outside behind the church for all of you who didn’t give up either or both of those for Lent. Fifth, after the 10:30 Solemn Pontifical Mass is done, the Archbishop will have a most meager meal (he eats “vegan” for Lent, something you may wish to emulate next Lent, as that certainly is a penance! The hardest part of this type of fast, although I am assured that the Archbishop has managed, with many supernatural graces pouring forth from Heaven, to avoid such things, must certainly be finding yourself, much against your Catholic will, incessantly bragging about the benefits of the poor health and lack of friends that come as the result of the vegan lifestyle, and the inevitable disdain for all of those despicable people who eat “unnatural” things like steaks, that so smugly comes across what’s left of every vegan’s mind as he chows down on his made-in-the-test-tube “Implausible Burger.” But I digress...) After a quick bite of Lenten suffering, Archbishop Cordileone will move to the parish room where he will greet anyone who wishes to come and say a few words of welcome or get a photo with him.
       To close out this article, and not a bit too soon, I just want to point out to any gullible people reading this that, although the basic information, such as Archbishop Cordileone coming next weekend and the times he will be publicly praying, speaking, celebrating Mass, and greeting the people are correct in the above paragraphs, you had to wade through a whole lot of blarney to get to the essential truths contained therein. After all, this current Sunday is Laetare (Rejoice) Sunday, so don’t take it too seriously! One last thing I forgot to mention (did I tell you that I am old now?) is that we will be taking up a completely optional, or “free will” offering next week as a second collection in case anyone wishes to help defray some of the costs that the Fraternal Society of St. John the Apostle incurs in organizing such wonderfully holy Pontifical Masses.

With prayers for your holiness,
Rev. Fr. Edwin Palka